Is Your Ex-Pastor a Pathological Liar?

Is Your Ex-Pastor a Pathological Liar_ (1)

Is Your Ex-Pastor a Pathological Liar?

(Leadership message for House Church and individual use: preached 11/14 – 11/20/2021)

“The same day there came certain of the Pharisees, saying unto him, ‘Get thee out, and depart hence: for Herod will kill thee.” (Luke 13:31)

Question #1: Is Your Ex-Pastor a Pathological Liar?

Of course, to find this out, we must first understand: What is a pathological liar? According to “How Do I Cope with Someone Being a Pathological Liar?”, an article written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP, and published on Healthline.com,

“Pathological lying, [which is] also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying. … Some lies seem to be told in order to make the pathological liar appear [to be a] hero, or to gain acceptance or sympathy [for him]. … Compulsive lying is also a known trait of some personality disorders, such as antisocial [behavior]. … Along with being made the hero or victim in their stories, pathological liars tend to tell lies that seem to be geared at gaining admiration, sympathy, or acceptance by others.

“A 2016 study of what happens in the brain when you lie found that the more untruths a person tells, the easier and more frequent lying becomes. The results also indicated that self-interest seems to fuel dishonesty. … [Here now are Three Major Characteristics of a Pathological Liar.]

“The stories they tell are usually dramatic, complicated, and detailed: Pathological liars are great storytellers. Their lies tend to be very detailed and colorful. Even though obviously over-the-top, the pathological liar may be very convincing.
“They usually portray themselves as the hero or victim: Along with being made the hero or victim in their stories, pathological liars tend to tell lies that seem to be geared at gaining admiration, sympathy, or acceptance by others.
“They sometimes seem to believe the lies they tell: A pathological liar tells lies and stories that fall somewhere between conscious lying and delusion. They sometimes believe their own lies.

“It’s difficult to know how to deal with a pathological liar who may not always be conscious of their lying. Some do it so often that experts believe they may not know the difference between fact and fiction after some time.

“Pathological liars also tend to be natural performers. They are eloquent and know how to engage with others when speaking. They are creative and original, and quick thinkers who don’t usually show common signs of lying, such as long pauses or avoidance of eye contact.”

(Santos-Longhurst, Adrienne [Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Length, Ph.D., CRNP]. “How Do I Cope with Someone Being a Pathological Liar?” Healthline Media, 2005-2021, www.healthline.com/health/pathological-liar, Accessed 20 Nov. 2021.)

Now Let’s make sure that you understand what is being said here, by turning what you just heard into a short 4-part checklist to confirm if your ex-pastor is a pathological liar.

Does he create the persona of being a victimized hero in need of sympathy.
Are his lies increasing and being more confidently and frequently told.
In looking closer, is it confirmed that his dishonesty is fueled by self-interest?
Are the stories that he tells usually dramatic, complicated, detailed, obviously over-the-top, and yet told in as convincing a way as possible.

To help you in finalizing the above 4-point questionnaire, here are a few real life examples.

A pastor said, “The former associate pastor stole our people and left you and me to pay for the building, so – you must now never talk to or see them or him ever again. If you do, I will excommunicate you.”
A pastor said, “The new associate pastor (the one who replaced the previous one and has now also worked with me for many years), well, it turns out that he likewise plotted against me (this time with another outside pastor), and has now stolen most of our people so – you must never talk to, or see them or him ever again. If you do, I will excommunicate you.”
A pastor said, “A former deacon [before I kicked him out of the church] attempted to physically harm me so – you must never talk to or see him ever again. If you do, I will excommunicate you.”
A pastor said, “Another former deacon is leading the Black Lives Movement to vilify me as a racist, so – you must never talk to or see him ever again. If you do, I will excommunicate you.”
A pastor said, “These 50 people left us and tried to destroy our church. I have told my assistant to never let them visit us again (even after I die). I will now read all of their names and print them online for all the world to see. You must never talk to or see them ever again. If you do, I will excommunicate you.”

As an addition to the above, a pastor told his people that negotiations, which had recently begun, to purchase a well known building for less than $20M had to be cancelled because of leaders and people recently leaving the church.

The truth: It was later confirmed that no such negotiations could have taken place: The building was deemed to be a national landmark and was therefore not for sale. Also, if it was for sale, the price would have been above $80M.

Question #2: So then, what to do? If you are now being hounded, vilified and lied against by your ex-pastor, what should you do?

Of course, your local and federal judicial systems remain in place for you to seek assistance from them. Before doing so you may want to refer to “100 Bible Verses about Suing Someone”, an online page of Holy Scripture which may be found at https://www.openbible.info/topics/suing_someone.

However, this message, in accordance with our prayers and hopes in God, is a message from the Bible; and as such, we point you now to the best example of all time. Jesus!

And so, let us quickly examine not what would Jesus do, but rather what did Jesus do!

You see, it is clear that Jesus did have an ex-pastor; and after he left their church, both his ex-pastor and his ex-pastor’s convention of fellow pastors were actively, aggressively, and yes annoyingly vilifying him, trying to destroy his work and doing so through some of the most vicious and (much too often) ridiculous lies that could be told.

We do not have time to consider all of the attacks and lies that are recorded in the Bible. (Perhaps in another message.) In fact, the truth is that we only need: One incident related to one powerful response from our Lord, resulting in one great instructive result? Yes, one example, with the Lord Jesus Christ in it, will be enough.

Let us therefore now conclude this message with a clear understanding of the following documented historical account. This, now, is exactly how our Lord taught you to handle the situation when your ex-pastor, like his (like our Lord’s) turns out to be a pathological liar who is (in every meaning of the phrase) hellbent on bringing you down.

Behold then this, as recorded in Luke 13:31-35:

“On that day there came near certain Pharisees, saying to him, `Go forth, and be going on hence, for Herod doth wish to kill thee;’ and he said to them, `Having gone, say to this fox, Lo, I cast forth demons, and perfect cures to-day and to-morrow, and the third [day] I am being perfected; but it behoveth me to-day, and to-morrow, and the [day] following, to go on, because it is not possible for a prophet to perish out of Jerusalem.” (Luke 13:31-33, YLT)

I. The Extravagant Lie

“On that day there came near certain Pharisees, saying to him, `Go forth, and be going on hence, for Herod doth wish to kill thee;” (Luke 13:31)

“Some think that these Pharisees had no ground at all for this, that Herod had not given out any words to this purport, but that they framed this lie, to drive him out of Galilee, where he had a great and growing interest, and to drive him into Judea, where they knew there were those that really sought his life.” (Henry, Matthew. “An Exposition, With Practical Observations, of the Gospel According to St. Luke.” Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, 6th ed., vol. 5, Hendrickson Publishers Marketing, LLC, 1991, pp. 587-588.)

II. The Truth

“And he said to them, `Having gone, say to this fox, ‘Lo, I cast forth demons, and perfect cures to-day and to-morrow, and the third [day] I am being perfected;” (Luke 13:32)

“I know that neither he nor any one else can kill me till I have done my work. Go, and tell him that I value not his impotent rage. I will cast out devils, and do cures, to-day and to-morrow.” (Ibid.)

III. What DID Jesus Do?

“But it behoveth me to-day, and to-morrow, and the [day] following, to go on, because it is not possible for a prophet to perish out of Jerusalem.” (Luke 13:33)

“Now and for some little space of time yet to come, in spite of him and all his threats. I must walk, I must go on in my intended journey, and it is not in his power to hinder me. I must go about, as I do, preaching and healing, to-day, and to-morrow, and the day following.” (Ibid.)

Conclusion: Q1, Q2 & A

Question #1: Is your ex-pastor a pathological liar? (Yes? Okay…)

Question #2: What do you do when this pathological liar comes after you?

Answer: Do what Jesus DID (all the time)!

O’ David, dear young, dear hunted David, bring out your happy bands, your troops up out of the cave of Adullam. Come reign in Jerusalem where you belong!

O’ Elijah, you called down fire and outran the king’s chariot, and now there you are? Come out! Climb down! Descend from that mountain cavern. You have work with thousands to complete back in the city!

Our Lord, o’ our Lord, he rose from the grave! He gave us power over demons, dominions and sin! Fear not the Devil-sent wolf in sheep’s clothing. (Yes, if it bites like a wolf and seeks to kill and eat you like one then its a wolf, even if it did help you before it tried to have you for dinner.) With Jesus now rise again!

Victory through certainty thrilled and filled with a destiny that can only be found in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of Man, the Son of God, the Saviour of the World.

Is your ex-pastor a pathological liar hunting and attempting to hinder your work for God? Hallelujah, so was our Lord’s. And so (Hallelujah!!) we see even more what he meant when he called you by saying, “Take up your cross daily, and follow me!”

Farewell, false friend, o’ fallen foe: O’ Pharisee-proven, farewell, I must “Go!” The Lord demands, the Great Commission commands, the flames cannot hurt me nor all of your lies. I go! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Wherever He leads me, hallelujah, I go!